Love doesn't attack; it infiltrates.

Old books exert a strange fascination for me -- their smell, their feel, their history; wondering who might have owned them, how they lived, what they felt.

Patience is only a virtue when there is something worth waiting for.

Tell them I have the headache--no, the plague! I need something nice and contagious.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that one only comes up with clever, cutting remarks long after the other party is happily slumbering away.

LIPID (Last Idiot Person I Dated) syndrome: a largely undiagnosed but pervasive disease that afflicts single women.

They were a strange and mercantile people, these Americans. One never knew what they might come up with next.

Why was it that cheering expressions were invariably so infuriating?

Amazing what the application of a knitting needle could do for one's manners.

Quite definitely a Bingley

It was lovely to see cynicism in one so young. It positively restored his faith in human nature.

Happiness lies even in ltiny ittle butterflies. You just have to open up your eyes and see where beauty flies to beautify your world lenghtwise.

An effort disbursed to become like a god takes us closer towards finding him.

My old geometry teacher called me and he was like yo man you need to start wearing a shirt. You're ruining my marriage.

But if you go from Moscow to Budapest you think you are in Paris.

Here I am an old man in a long nightgown making muffled noises at people who may be no worse than I am.

As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.

AB=1/4((A+B)^2-(A-B)^2) is an amazing identity, and unfortunately, I have to remind my current students how to prove it.

It's such a joy to be able to play someone who is angry. It's a joy and a relief. Having to be nice all the time is exhausting and boring.

Charlie Chaplin, too, through spectacle, contraband certain ideas, put them through, ideas that even today are not being expressed by great statesmen and politicians.

The equation Bubble Tea = Something to Look Forward To depressurizes the misery of capitalism and is a Hello Kitty band-aid on the festering wound of Neo-Liberalism.