Love may be blind, but lust is just damn stupid.

I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister.

A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.

You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.

Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.

There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers.

I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet

If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting.

It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine.

In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.

There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.

In the midway of this our mortal life, I found me in a gloomy wood, astray, Gone from the path direct.

We all suffer alone in the real world; true empathy's impossible.

Settle for what you can get, but first ask for the World.

How easy it is, how dangerously easy it is to hate a man for one's own inadequacies.

Man is the only creature disposed to kill huge numbers of members of his own species, and his instrument is usually the state.

I have expressed some ideas that point to the center; I have saluted the dawn in my way, from my point of view. He who knows the way should do the same, in his way, and from his point of view.

Even if a man has no natural ability, he can be a warrior.

Now is the time to make good use of time. Today is the day to begin a perfect day.

Love truth, and pardon error.

An atmosphere of beliefs and conceptions has been formed by the labours and struggles of our forefathers, which enables us to breathe amid the various and complex circumstances of our life.