Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

It took greater energy to be able to focus when heardthe voice of wisdom in a hustle bustle than in serenity.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

It's good to vandalize one's own work.

For some must watch while some must sleep thus runs the world away.

The gunshot holds no fear!

So powerful is the charm of words, which for us reduces to manageable entities all the passions that would otherwise madden and destroy us.

Nature's great masterpiece, an elephant; the only harmless great thing.

I don't really want to do topless stuff anymore.

To protect myself from the rear, I have to stand slantwise.

Sometimes the poor are praised for being thrifty. But to recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting. It is like advising a man who is starving to eat less.