Love: woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Never marry when under the guise you need to 'see if it'll work', but rather marry because in your mind you want to make it work.

When you've finished your own toilet in the morning, then it is time to attend to the toilet of your planet, just so, with the greatest care.

Nothing in science has any value to society if it is not communicated, and scientists are beginning to learn their social obligations.

My hands are clean, but my heart has somewhat of impurity.

Life is a grand party.

The most humble research scientist in the Department of Agriculture is at this time contributing more to this country than the most useful member of Congress.

The ofspring of those that are very young, or very old, lasts not.

We're so very focused on ourselves and on self-promotion. It goes on all day with Facebook and Twitter and Instagram.

Guy Pearce is very precise and clear about understanding the rhythm and the music of a scene.

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.