Lying to other people is fine and usually funny, but lying to yourself is tacky.

The world is your oyster... ...too bad you're allergic to shellfish.

If stealing a few saltshakers was wrong I didn't want to be right.

I hate bananas. I just hate them. But I also think a banana suit is the funniest fruit costume a person can wear.

Cowardice, when done correctly, can be its own kind of bravery.

It’s like someone who prays every night saying God’s a good listener. Just because you’re talking to us doesn’t mean we’re listening. With me and God, you never really know.

Mockery when done without prejudice or discretion, can be a form of respect. It's the closest we'll ever come to true equality.

You can be good at technology and like fashion and art. You can be good at technology and be a jock. You can be good at technology and be a mom. You can do it your way, on your terms.

In order to perfect your craft, you've gotta go hard, you've gotta go overtime.

An individual's treatment and alternatives in life may depend as much on the reputation of the group to which that person belongs as on their own merit.

Ballycumber (ba-li-KUM-ber) n. One of the six half-read books lying somewhere in your bed.

You can only start a boy band if you kill one of the other ones already out there.

We are the producers of our own thinking. Thought is not something that happens to us, but something that we do to ourselves.

I don't think of myself as a Negro. I'm a Southerner. I just like the Southern way of life.

Half the world's troubles come from men not being trained to resent a fallacy as much as an insult.

You can talk about your Psalms and your John 3:16. Well, Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your *ss.

We’re super fortunate in Pearl Jam to have such loyal fans...who really want to come & see us play.