MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

God has created you, not your future.

You enlighten the light of love in my life.

Many of the insights of the saint stem from his experience as a sinner.

Professionals give advice; pilgrims share wisdom.

The trade is so easy for me. It's so obvious what's happening when our companies are flocking out. I am going to fix our trade, I am going to bring jobs back to America.

When we dream, anything is possible.

Certainly the interest in asserting copyright is a justified one.

Try to make others happy, and don't despair over all the evil in the world. Instead of cursing the dark, let us each light one small lamp.

I run to be known as the greatest runner, the greatest of all time. I could not eat or sleep for a week after I lost in the (1992) Olympics. I have to win or die.

Let us not be too much acquainted. I would have a man enter his house through a hall filled with heroic and sacred sculptures, that he might not want the hint of tranquillity and self-poise.