MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

It was an awkward moment. We were burning down our host's house, a situation which any guest seeks to avoid.

We should not shed tears.That is a surrender of the body to the heart.It is only proofThat we are beings that do not knowWhat to do with our hearts

Official history is merely a veil to hide the truth of what really happened. When the veil is lifted, again and again we see that not only is the official version not true, it is often 100% wrong.

Right here, in this same headquarters, 52 years ago, the Convention that gave the birth certificate to the war on drugs was approved.

No company in the world would be satisfied with less sales, less customers or less jobs just because it's supposed to be good for the environment.

I am terribly clumsy, so there is a plethora of walking into lamp-posts, falling over, dropping things, and ruining sofas.

Never in my life have I feared death as much as I feared that resurrection.

The whole imposing edifice of modern medicine is like the celebrated tower of Pisa - slightly off balance.

To finish off this whole Olympics by finally getting the gold medal, it's the best feeling in the world.

I thought I had mono for a year...Turns out I was just really bored.