MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The guitar poured out its soul, its history, its dreams, its pain, its victories, its secrets. The guitar’s strings purred with blues and ended with a haunting solitary song with no lyrics.

You will always define events in a manner which will validate your agreement with reality.

Deliberately or not, every author is of course present in every book he or she writes - even in a scientific text.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

There is no better opportunity to receive more than to be thankful for what you already have. Thanksgiving opens the windows of opportunity for ideas to flow your way.

Deciding under uncertainty is bad enough, but deciding under an illusion of certainty is catastrophic.

You can't keep pursuing pop success, and chasing the past.

In the conduct of almost every affair slowness and procrastination are hateful

The urbanized life has lead to the destruction of the legends.

Fake friends are like autumn leaves, they're scattered everywhere.