MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Lord, I'll embrace whatever it is you want me to do, but please, please let me know what it is." - Father Kevin Thrall.

Author refers to, "short silences in which the resolves which colour a life are so often taken.

What you've already known stops you to wonder and it gives you peace.

When I first came out there was no such thing as Twitter or Facebook. And the blogs! Like, what is that?

I can see the Beatles sticking together forever, really. We've been together a long time.

White Man, let us stand together to secure the survival of your people and my people, for they are one and the same - they are our beloved, miraculous, wonderful, blessed and masterful white race!

Once a guy stood all day shaking bugs from his hair.

I'm never going to retire. I'll die with my boots on.

Every actor turns everything round to their character.

Peace, commerce and honest friendship with all nations; entangling alliances with none.