MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I think he won a tiny piece of my heart that day. If he didn't have the whole damn thing before then, he certainly had part of it now.

It is when the heavenly fire has departed and the soul is cool again that we discover the real quality of our will.

I mean every word of my divine chaos.

The small choices and decisions we make a hundred times a day add up to determining the kind of world we live in.

I don't even think people really understand how you can get pregnant or when you get pregnant. I still have questions about that.

The invasion only made matters worse. The occupation will not work, Iraq is unoccupiable, that will not work.

The Patriot Act, passed overwhelmingly but hastily after 9/11, allows the FBI to obtain telecommunication, financial, and credit records without a court order.

I think I am disciplined when I need to be, and relax when I can.

I'm running on hate. When the energy from that ebbs I'll be worthless.

Be yourself. That's it. I got about 45 [billionaires] . They are all different, all unique, and they are all self-made.