MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

You don’t have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire.

You need a strong light for a tough journey? A light like the sun? Then you need a wise thinking!

Life is suffering--and yet.

I'm a big fan of '70s records where artists could draw on whatever influences they wanted.

The critics could never mortify me out of heart - because I love poetry for its own sake, - and, tho' with no stoicism and some ambition, care more for my poems than for my poetic reputation.

Term limits would make Congress bolder, more independent, and less risk-averse.

Iblis (satan) himself recognizes the Lordship of Allah, but wants the human being to forget it

Be appreciative of what's right with your life. In your gratitude is power to make it even better

Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.

You have got to be careful quoting Ronald Reagan, because when you quote him accurately it is called mudslinging.