MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

But wanting something didn't give one the right to have it.

If you don’t want to leave your home, how can you begin your journey to what you want?

If only we studied the stars as much as we study our own reflections.

The idea of directing was something that I always had in the back of my mind, and writing as well. I began to write screenplays when I was in my 20's.

We're not destroying the world because we're clumsy. We're destroying the world because we are, in a very literal and deliberate way, at war with it.

Can't let the music stop, Can't let this feeling end, 'Cause if I do, It'll all be over, And I'll never see you again!

Magic is the divinity of man achieved in union with faith.

When I am so intensely involved with writing my books I don't like to reread them.

I find it very difficult to live through the censorship of profanity on television.

An immense percentage of snobs, I believe, is to be found in every rank of this mortal life.