Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!

Acting is all about big hair and funny props... All the great actors knew it. Olivier knew it, Brando knew it.

The world is a Bridge, pass over it, but build no houses upon it. He who hopes for a day, may hope for eternity; but the World endures but an hour. Spend it in prayer for the rest is unseen.

Of all the ways people save time, I think racism is the worst.

The nagual is the superconscious. It's nirvana. It's the unknown that cannot be explained or reasoned.

Every day I fail at something.

I think there has to be a recognition that, you know, there's so much at stake now, I mean, the business has changed so much and decisions are made so quickly, in nano seconds basically.

I don't have anything else to prove.

When someone comes along later and tries to preach the Gospel to them because they're living in the world, they won't listen.

I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke very funny. He would always come up with jokes on the loudspeaker on the bus.