Make that: no one I ever wanted to kiss wanted to kiss a fat girl.

So, what if, instead of thinking about solving you whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.

Every woman wants a man who'll fall in love with her soul as well as her body.

I want someone whose heart is big enough to hold me.

I didn't know love could leave the lights on all the time.

I really am happy for Kiley. And for you and every other happily married lady. Except for that I'm not happy for you. I kind of want you all to drop dead.

I believe that worrying about a bad thing prepares you for it when it comes. If you worry, the bad thing doesn't hit you as hard. You can roll with the punch if you see it coming.

Wasn’t hitting bottom the thing you had to do to knock some sense into yourself? Wasn’t hitting bottom the thing that showed you which way was up?

I dare you to call Ask-A-Nurse and tell them you feel a presence in your womb region.

I’m sort of… coming off a bad relationship”“When did it end?”“Slightly before it started.

Some people count sheep. I self-loathe.

Criticism of others is thus an oblique form of self-commendation. We think we make the picture hang straight on our wall by telling our neighbors that all his pictures are crooked.

What, after all, was the point of civilization if not the well-being of citizens?

At my home in the southwest of France, I grow oak, hazel, and lemon trees in my backyard.

In the chapel you prayed to be a saint and now I will make you a god.

I think most people act in their self-interest.

A lot of times, when I record with a group, I'll stay after class for another hour or two and go, 'Let me try a bunch of things I was thinking of, as you were doing that.'

We try not to encourage demonstrations of his mastery of the gaseous arts.

As a kid, you dream of winning the Stanley Cup. As you get older, you understand the importance of winning the Olympics.

And I have written three books on the soul, Proving absurd all written hitherto, And putting us to ignorance again.

I think to be a good teacher you need an enormous amount of patience and I'm a very impatient person.