Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection.

I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman. I was divorced. I was childless. I figured there's got to be one more way to really tick off my mom.

Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I'll share my secret with you: I live in a senior citizen retirement community.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I was over there in Hawaii. I was there on the big island. The 'Big Island' - that name cracks me up. First of all, it's not that big, so I'm pretty sure a guy came up with that name.

They're all sources of material. What I love about what I do, the more you talk about your life, there are so many people who have similar experiences.

All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff.

Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it's a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip through the dryer, and it's a frilly bookmark.

Just be your authentic self because there's nothing sexier or more beautiful than that.

I'm not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you could have gotten a 'yes.' So it's worthwhile to have the cojones to do it.

Young people everywhere have been allowed to choose between love and a garbage disposal unit. Everywhere they have chosen the garbage disposal unit.

Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, Offer no angles to the wind.They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholesLess than themselves.

Let's face it: we live at a time when government is less and less powerful, less and less effective, and the agent of social change, at least for the immediate future, is the corporation.

I had this client I'll call Samuel. Not his real name. I saw him steadily for twenty years, usually twice a month. Over twenty years you really get to know someone.

Technology is all the accumulated usefulness that our minds invent.

Part of me is afraid to get close to people because I'm afraid that they're going to leave.

If someone has Ebola at a cocktail party they're contagious and you can catch it from them.

The only way to live is to accept each minute as an unrepeatable miracle, which is exactly what it is: a miracle and unrepeatable.

Don't wear makeup all the time. When you wear makeup all the time it clogs your pores.

You're gonna have to go through hell, worse than any nightmare you've ever dreamed. But when it's over, I know you'll be the one standing. You know what you have to do. DO IT!