Making money isn't something to be ashamed of. There's a feeling now that if you have money you must have got it by some kind of shady dealing or being an MP.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Cry as much as you want to, but make sure when you're finished, you never cry for the same reason again

Honor always comes at a price, else it would be worthless.

We only have one person to blame, and that's each other.

I have not watched the TV show. I do not generally watch TV sci-fi drama shows. They make me itch.

I've always been old at heart.

Our mantra is that 90 percent of all television is bad, and ten percent has never been better. We make fun of that 90 percent.

The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed, saying: There is life, but it's not for you.

I haven't personally in my real life had many people close to me die, but my characters have, and I've had to live that as though it's real. And it can take a really big emotional toll on someone.

I’ve become less conservative since the Republican Party started becoming goofy.

I've had a terrific life, from building one company to be the second largest company in the securities industry and merging that into American Express, and becoming president of that company.