Making stuff up is the worst thing a journalist can do. Plagiarizing is the second worst.

I believe that the fragile-flower, idea-intolerant society of victimhood that is being cultivated in many colleges today is really bad.

Mostly, you become a writer not because you want to get rich or famous, but because you have to write; because there is something inside that must come out.

The verb "Garland" should be created. It would mean to unfairly put a stinking albatross around someone's neck, to make him unemployable.

The horrifying thing is that nearly half of America seems in synch with xenophobia and race-baiting.

Editorials are editorials. They a supposed to have an opinion, even a very strong one.

The one thing an aspiring writer must understand is that it's hard. If you think it's not hard, you're not doing it right.

I once found myself driving, smoking a cigar, taking notes, and talking on the phone at the same time. I only became completely aware of this when I had to shift, and realized something had to give.

One thing I am learning from the kitten is that everything he is doing seems to be in preparation for murder.

I think Marco Rubio could never have recovered from revealing himself to be pathetic.

Every single fat comic uses his weight as a punchline. There is something sad about that.

Where you travel to, I would love to receive a beautiful postcard.

If you conform, you can never reform.

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.

Here’s how a child listens: you tell him something, and he puts his own interpretation on what you said. That’s what he hears. No one has ever heard you.

Any action is better than no action at all.

You fiddle lucker!' she cried.

Love's a different sort of thing, hot enough to make you flow into something, interflow, cool and anneal and be a weld stronger than what you started with.

I deliberately try not to cater for the commercial market, so I can't see myself in competition, you know, with second or third generation rock stars.

With Tiger Woods, you know everyone is watching. But I think interest in women's golf is getting better too.