Making up characters and places and plots, unlike fixing your plumbing or doing dishes, is anything but practical or rational. I write what needs to be written the way that seems genuinely right.

Translators are like ninjas. If you notice them, they’re no good.

My father - I once asked him what was his greatest achievement. He said his greatest achievement was that he fought in five wars in the infantry, always on the front line, and never hurt anybody.

According to Gur's theory of boredom, everything that happens in the world today is because of boredom: love, war, inventions, fake fireplaces - ninety-five percent of all that is pure boredom.

It's kind of a reflex for me to ignore my own wishes and think about other people first.

If you want to learn how to be happy, you have to know what is sadness first.

Rabbits are played. Nowadays it's all about the turtles. Tell them it's a ninja, they'll freak.

The one who swallows cactuses with spines should not complain about hemorrhoids.

Writing a story is kind of like surfing, as opposed to the novel, where you use a GPS to get somewhere. With surfing, you kind of jump.

For three months, a person sits and looks at you, imagining a kiss.

Most of the Jewish writer friends I have are American, and I feel closer to them because they're always obsessed with one issue - identity: what does it mean to be an American Jew?

When the season ends, I like to take a little time off from the diet I follow when I'm playing.

It is by acts, and not by ideas, that people ensure the bar down the street cannot have a patio.

I was able to support myself by acting alone about six years ago. Until then, I was just scraping by.

Love is nothing but giving, tolerating and sacrificing.

Comedians and Feminists... are natural enemies, because stereotypically-speaking, feminists can't take a joke and... comedians can't take criticism.

If being smart is what you say it is, I will remain a fool my entire life.

Christ alone has succeeded in so raising the mind of man toward the unseen, that it becomes insensible to the barriers of time and space.

I don't know anything but writing practice, and so what I really do is direct that energy as if it were flowing down a river.

You've gotten so caught up in being alone that you're afraid of what might happen if you actually find someone else that can take you away from it.

There is no joy nobler than suffering for the sake of love for man.