Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.

Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear.

There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn't all the water gush out when you get in?

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.

Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.

Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.

All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.

A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.

Having lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a "Wirtschaftswunder," which can be briefly translated as "The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one."

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.

Science fiction is no more written for scientists that ghost stories are written for ghosts.

Nothing sorts out memories from ordinary moments. It is only later that they claim remembrance, when they show their scars.

You've got to make adjustments as you get older.

You'll never make a fortune working for the boss man.

Imitators are but a servile kind of cattle.

[Donald Trump] is not going to cut Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.

I think everyone should go to bed like they have a date at the door.

Give me a mandolin and I'll play you rock 'n' roll.

I want to work on some more complicated baking... and it would be interactive!