Man, at his best, remains a sort of one-lunged animal, never completely rounded and perfect, as a cockroach, say, is perfect.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Life is so big. Do not try to fill it. Instead, expand within. You are enough for you.

[Abbas Kiarostami] is a great artist and a poet. I sometimes think that if Samuel Beckett made films, he'd make them like Kiarostami makes them.

One more drink and you're dead. This is no way to talk to a suicide head.

Humility comes from how you come at the world. Confidence comes from how you come at yourself.

Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!'

But I was thinking of a way To feed oneself on batter, And so go on from day to day Getting a little fatter.

Hope for a great sea-change timid to rebuke and too petty to forgive.

I'm a musician. I play harmonica for relaxation. A good way to relax and entertain people. An excellent way to have fun.

Most of the notable turn out to be the not-able. God's greatest truths still belong to babes.

I knew he would never play for Wales ... he's tone deaf.