Many feel they are called to the priesthood, but what they really hear is an inner voice saying, 'It's indoor work with no heavy lifting, do you want to be a ploughman like your father?'

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

All books are either dreams or swords, You can cut, or you can drug, with words.

God save me from my friends - I can protect myself from my enemies.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I just want to keep exploring music and hopefully the orders will keep coming in and I'll be able to keep growing the interior and exterior sides of my life.

I never lost a freestyle race. Never. Not even in the YMCA.

The uplift of a fearless heart will help us over barriers. No one ever overcomes difficulties by going at them in a hesitant, doubtful way.

Loving others is easy when you love and accept yourself.

We cannot leave the expression of our lives to those better qualified than we are, however dear they may be.

As an elder I mistrust the wisdom of age.

I love Trinidad and I love living there, but it's quite harsh.