Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Where Alph, the sacred river, ran Through caverns measureless to man Down to a sunless sea.

My general plan is good, though in the detail there may be faults.

This year women learned that if we aren't at the table, we're on the menu.

No act loses us; no violence we're subjected to destroys us; no debasement chases out the divine, and no one can take the divine from us.

No one should live beyond 30.

The only thing that can cause your body to hurt in your energy processing centers, [chakras] is when you are losing Spirit through one of them.

Nothing is more binding than the friendship of companions-in-arms.

A Kerry footballer with an inferiority complex is one who thinks he's just as good as everybody else.

It seems that humanity is incapable of putting a halt to the shedding of innocent blood.

Attempts to secure an equal outcome always require unequal treatment of individuals.