Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

A distaste for the new is not always fear of the unknown, but sometimes ambition. Some people don't like the new way simply because they never got a chance to master the old way.

Even the most racist person make a very painful racial comment, give him a smile. It's better than you take a weapon on him because he's just gonna go like, "Oh." He's just being stupid.

To resort to power one need not be violent, and to speak to conscience one need not be meek.

Men's reproduction isn't regulated by the state -- and it shouldn't be. Neither should women's.

I'm not jumping into anything fast. I'm an actor that likes to choose my work and there's an element of good taste to my work.

I feel like an inadequate machine, a machine that breaks down at crucial moments, grinds to a dreadful hault, 'won't go,' or, even worse, explodes in some innocent person's face.

And if I ever DO see [Kenny G] anywhere, at any function - he WILL get a piece of my mind, and maybe a guitar wrapped around his head.

We as human beings like to be cocksure and certain.

Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

I like the vegetables, the fruits, the beans, the stuff I eat now...All my blood tests are good, and my vital signs are good, and I feel good, and I also have, believe it or not, more energy.