Mario you are a great chef but you look like a homeless James Gandolfini.

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.

The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.

I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.

What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?

Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a towel and throw it over paintings you don't like.

People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't.

I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.

I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.

I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great. After three years she wants to run out and find a guy that doesn't hit her.

Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.

We all flee in hope of finding some ground of security

Power is the ability to control people or things. So, unless you learn to control your own self first, how would you be able to influence anybody else? Now, doesn’t that apply to all of us?

Man has less than he suspects of: Time, Friends, Hopes, Qualities.Proverb

I'll always be here if you need me. I may not share your faith, but I will always help you fight for what you believe in.

I haven't changed, but I know I ain't the same.

It is a curious fact that with 'Through the Looking-Glass' the faculty of making book illustrations departed from me... I have done nothing in that direction since.

I really like books that you can kind of hear as much as think about, that are so graphic and visual.

And all these people lived not by reason of any care they had for themselves, but by the love for them that was in other people.

I hate fund-raising. Haaaaate it. Hate, hate it.

What the poor, the weak, and the inarticulate desperately require is power, organization, and a sense of identity and purpose, not rarefied advice of political scientists.