Marriage: a souvenir of love.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

It is too late." The old man shook his head. "It is never too late or too soon. It is when it is supposed to be." He smiled. "There is a plan, Dor.

Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.

I'm excited by any food that's prepared by someone who's proud of what they're doing, who puts a personal imprint on food.

I realize that I had always in my heart of hearts planned to write a biography of Marie Antoinette.

No man, who continues to add something to the material, intellectual and moral well-being of the place in which he lives, is left long without proper reward.

Knowledge about the process being modeled starts fairly low, then increases as understanding is obtained and tapers off to a high value at the end.

I feel my shows are like a late-night talk show that we settle down and do every night.

Muzzle a dog and he will bark out of the other end.

The federal government is the balance wheel of the federal system, and the federal system means using counterweights.

Do the thing you fear, it's sure to disappear.