Marriage, friends, is a lifelong feast; love is no light lunch.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

If you have no product to show for your time, you are a time waster.

Her lips were burning with the lies she spoke and yet, he longed to kiss the fire.

You have psychopaths and sociopaths in charge.

Natural rights is simple nonsense: natural and imprescriptible rights, rhetorical nonsense—nonsense upon stilts.

My father was very much a handy person round the house, and I learnt a lot of carpentry from him.

Onstage, I was never the ingenue.

I think I was pretty much hated in France. The French press ignored me. There was a movement when the children of celebrities faced strong animosity.

The essence of Christianity, as I see it, is love. The essence of Humanism (and I'm also a Humanist) is love. At that level, we're not far apart.

Silence gives consent.

All I know is, if we don't eat soon I'm going to chew off a limb. And I can't guarentee it'll be mine.