Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Women helped each other in ways small and large every day, without thinking, and that was what kept them going even when the world came up with new and exciting ways to crush them.

Mary and Josephhuddle snugly together.They cradle God's son.

This women's orchestra made a demure picture in their muted dove grays, alright, but they played like they were gowned in scarlet and gold.

My uncles and other relatives are against encouraging girls in every aspect, and that includes sports. I hardly interact with them. My parents are more open. They back me all the way.

If you are feeling helpless, help someone.

If you wouldn't live long, live well; for folly and wickedness shorten life.

The need for comprehensive reform must not blind us to the urgency of addressing the massive debt that's already crushing our young people.

I want to see people do more than simply raise their hand when they come to Christ. Where are the totally changed lives?

I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they'll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There's no place like home!

Christ imparts the capacity of conquest to our lives every single day that we are willing to believe Him.