Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.

There is always time for failure

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yoghurt.

No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.

We don't know much about the human conscience, except that it is soluble in alcohol.

The secret of good health and happiness is to have rather small illnesses throughout your life which you can rely on to stop you doing anything you don't want to do.

Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.

Life is uncertain. We can never predict when hard times shall strike.

Golf without bunkers and hazards would be tame and monotonous. So would life.

Fear and love can never be experienced at the same time. It is always our choice as to which of these emotions we want.

I am opposed to censorship. Censors are pretty sure fools. I have no confidence in the suppression of everyday facts.

Let's just say that I was raised by my grandparents.

Hillary Clinton doesn't connect with people.

There's always a nice tune [on radio] - helps you get the dishes done . I like to get the news from time to time - not too often. I don't feel deprived.

I always called him the Dizzy Dean of music, he was so belligerent and braggadocio... But one thing I always noticed about Jelly, he would back everything he said by what he could do.

Journalists are getting big stories wrong, over and over again.

I've been approached by many different people, but I don't really want to be known as a collaboration dude.