Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

He wanted to cry quietly but not for himself: for the words, so beautiful and sad, like music.

Are we willing to shun vain repetition and keep our prayers out of an unchallenging rut by asking God to make us more sensitive to our own sin?

Today, the general masses in this society are in this political-social condition that really encourages people to become rich and become a star and be unique.

I'm content. I want to have better success in the tournaments than I've had, but I know I'm playing well, so I'm happy with that.

To begin to understand the gorgeous fever that is consciousness, we must try to understand the senses and what they can tell us about the ravishing world we have the privilege to inhabit.

So many boys and girls talk the same way, listen to the same music, look the same. If I'm out, I'll notice the person who looks different before I notice the person who's, "really hot."

Lone women shouldn't stop in the middle of nowhere for giant unkempt strangers with duct tape on their faces.

Kafka didn't save me. He just told me I was drowning.

Nature should have been pleased to have made this age miserable, without making it also ridiculous.