Marriage is nature's way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Be yourself there is no one better

How time slips past, masked in the rhythm of the days!

When you lose a customer, it can be tempting to tell each other, "That customer's not very sharp. They just made the wrong decision".

You always fall for the rascal or the guy who's got a little bit of the devil in him. You can't help it.

There is something wrong with you if you don't get angry about something.

Time is everything; five minutes make the difference between victory and defeat.

. . . persist in that invocation until the unity of the world is subsumed for you in a single sphere, so that with the eye of your heart you will see naught in the two worlds save the One.

Democracy cannot survive overpopulation.

[My] worst habit: Drinking too much Budweiser when I get angry.

What is it with this American booty culture? It seems to me to be a form of obsession.