Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.

Mankind spends much more on training pilots of aircraft than it does to train the nuclear reactor operators.

Not once does the Bible report that (Jesus) rushed anywhere. He was often busy, but never in a mad dash. And yet He perfectly accomplished all the Father designed for Him to do.

Peter Shilton conceded five, you don't get many of those to the dozen

Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.

[Donald Trump] said that even though he wants to repeal and replace ObamaCare, he might want to preserve some parts.

The roads by which men arrive at their insights into celestial matters seem to me almost as worthy of wonder as those matters in themselves.

If we devote ourselves to the life at hand, the rest will follow. For life, it seems, reveals itself through those willing to live. Anything else, no matter how beautiful, is just advertising.

Often undecided whether to desert a sinking ship for one that might not float, he would make up his mind to sit on the wharf for a day.

Don't join too many gangs. Join few if any. Join the United States and join the family- But not much in between unless a college.

I went through this realization that acting, at its heart, is the ability to manipulate your own emotions.