Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

My tastes lean toward the more negative, angry and eclectic.

No barrier stands between the material world of science and the sensibilities of the hunter and the poet.

There is nothing in this world that can compare with the Christian fellowship; nothing that can satisfy but Christ.

What passes for news is just morbid speculation or cartoonish screaming, followed by diaper commercials.

The one that burned the hottest is the first to die.

Rain is something the democrats use to sell umbrellas.

I started changing my swing in late 1999.

More than anyone, I am aware of the preconceptions. I was a Spice Girl. I'm married to a footballer.

Only those few who are able to surpass their fear of death completely can fully experience the highest forms of life; not the mundane life of the mortal, but the godly life of the resurrected.