Marriage n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master a mistress and two slaves making in all two.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Work harder to become better person. There is no guarantee how long we are going to be here. Enjoy life.

You also yell at the pigeons outside, watch too many cooking shows, and have a blog entirely dedicated to pictures of yourself.

Though we've talked and talked and talked, we've all agreed not to say a word.

Hiding is for amateurs.

As they croak, I see myself in the pistol smoke.

I feel like a voodoo doll. It's grim. It's gross.

For a while, it was something to try to push at people, playing old murder ballads and being upset about everything I was seeing around me. But now I feel a lot more at peace with it.

The Postal Service delivers mail six days a week to nearly 140 million addresses. Every year this number increases by 2 million.

In order to succeed in business a man does not need a degree from a school of business administration. These schools train the subalterns for routine jobs. They certainly do not train entrepreneurs.

I assure you that interest in Japanese culture in Russia is just as strong as interest in Russian culture in Japan.