Marriages are said to be made in Heaven, which may be why they don't work here on Earth.

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.

If you talk to God, you are praying; If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily.

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.

In the animal kingdom, the rule is, eat or be eaten; in the human kingdom, define or be defined.

Labeling a child as mentally ill is stigmatization, not diagnosis. Giving a child a psychiatric drug is poisoning, not treatment.

In the past, men created witches: now they create mental patients.

What people really need and demand from life is not wealth, comfort, or esteem, but games worth playing

Mental illness is a myth, whose function is to disguise and thus render more palatable the bitter pill of moral conflicts in human relations.

The neurotic has problems; the psychotic has solutions.

Why do all your brilliant ideas involve felonies?

Grace is more desirable than gold.

I don't ever want to be a fair-weather anything. Playing through the elements is always better than sitting on the sidelines.

Those who have dissected or inspected many [bodies] have at least learnt to doubt

I could decorate a whole city with books!

Everybody's got opinions on the way you're livin', But see, they can't fill your shoes.

Around comics, I've always been known for, oh, that's not dirty, this is dirty.

Sometimes people just don't understand the way that I work in politics.

You can make really effective changes when your consciousness is free of emotional turmoil.

They may not use the word better. But they certainly believe that they'll go to heaven and Jews will not.