Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

You are old beyond your years Zoeybird. Believe in yourself and you will find a way. But remember darkness does not always equate to evil just like light does not always bring good.

He who laughs most, learns best.

It's either good, bad or somewhere in between. It's either ying, yang or it's a combination. You're either male, female or somewhere in between. You've got to be somewhere on the map.

Authentic needs are the needs that are always met by the Universe.

Vince McMahon owns me.

Why are guns the only unregulated consumer products in America? We regulate toy guns and teddy bears, but we do not regulate a product that kills 4,600 children a year.

I loved acting when I was doing it, but getting the jobs I didn't understand because I'd never had to do it. That was a difficult lesson for me. It was very humbling and very bizarre.

I love to read. I wish I could advise more people to read. There's a whole other world in books.

Anger and hatred are the materials from which hell is made.

It is unlawful to add anything to the words of Holy Scripture regarding the sense.