Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

A cliche is everything you've ever heard of.

What we think affects our life so much that life is for each of us just what we think it is. So the question of what life means has individual answers for each of us.

We need a politician who hates politics.

America stands strongest in challenging terrorism when we do not give up an inch of our civil liberties.

If mutual respect does derive from unilateral respect, it does so by opposition.

[George Michael] is a great songwriter and he makes very classy videos, like me.

It is understandable that people cannot be knowledgeable about all the different mediums. Sometimes it is funny.

In the state of Mississippi, Many Years Ago, a boy of 14 years got a taste of Southern law.

A man complained that on his way home to dinner he had every day to pass through that long field of his neighbor's. I advised him to buy it, and it would never seem long again.

Whether it's at their job, or their family, whatever - everyone feels that they're stuck in some kind of struggle. The idea is how to find your way out of it.