Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

One doesn't fall into love... one digs a hole for himself to trip... claiming he didn't see it coming

Do not, for one more minute, spend your precious time and energy on or surround yourself with people who are less than you deserve.

These archetypal older women in movies can sometimes make my skin crawl. It's about the one dimension it's about the lack of any texture.

I'm an actor and a playwright, and I don't earn much.

I think zombies would fit in anywhere. You can tell any story, and put zombies in it. I don't know how I'd find the backing, but I think it'd be great to make a zombie gangster movie.

Were there no heaven nor hell I should be honest.

Is the circle of fifths a drinking game?

Science is not infallible, but it has something religion lacks: a process of testing claims against real-world observations.

Anything can happen in the WWF.

Dirty, stained, withered, broken things seem beautiful to me.