Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to.

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

Volvo — they're boxy but they're good.

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

Music is the surest way of reaching someone else's heart.

Jaguar — For men who'd like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know.

I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.

I am trapped in this body, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I can hear the music all around me.

I certainly did feel inferior. Because of class. Because of strength. Because of height. I guess if I'd been able to hit somebody in the nose, I wouldn't have been a comic.

The moment we notice our thoughts is one of the most transformative experiences we can have.

If a nation is leaving democracy and choosing fascism, it means that it is taking itself from a peaceful garden to a bloody slaughter house!

Silly me, thinking you actually had potential. I thought, Finally, she's realized she's a vampire. Now we're getting somewhere. But now you're just a big fluffy bunny with sharp teeth.

If for instance, in a board meeting, if you have an idea, it better be a good idea, or you're not going to get everybody's attention.

Getting inequality out there into the consciousness was important. All these political pundits now talking about the 2014 and 2016 elections are talking about inequality.

The value of being silent: I never miss an opportunity to say nothing.

When one has been threatened with a great injustice, one accepts a smaller as a favour.

Ideology represents the imaginary relationship of individuals to their real conditions of existence.

I don't write very much about penises. More than some poets but not perhaps as much as I should.

Light matters should be dealt with seriously. Serious matters should be dealt with lightly.