Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

'I don't remember if I thanked you for saving me, ' he said. 'So thank you.''You're welcome.' 'Though after this morning, I've added you to the list of those trying to kill me.'

Feeling - what authentic human fun!

The Smile for some is an expression of joy, but for others it's a whole world of hope.

Addiction to anything show signs of emptiness.Being an imbalanced individual is not sign of success.

There is no such thing as white lies a lie is as black as a coalpit and twice as foul.

I think everyone feels alone in their sadness, and there's a certain value to hearing other people's sad stories.

I'm the son of an everyman. My father is a teacher. He teaches physics at a boys' school in Sydney.

I'm very fond of the Talent series, and also the Crystal Singer trio.

God's forgiveness is the only thing. And, well, I take full responsibility for the adultery. It was my fault and, you know, no matter what went on, the man has to take responsibility; and I do

As an actor, you've got to maintain a bit of mystery and at least part of your private life, otherwise the game is up.