Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

Don’t make any plans, because there is only one plan which really works and that is not even devised by you

A moment with Jesus changed everything.

...this miserable trick the romantic plays upon himself: of setting just beyond his reach the very thing he prizes.

I am not a photographer, I am a canon owner !!!

One has to grow hard but without ever losing tenderness.

Today again I am hardly myself. It happens over and over.

Everyone is interesting. Everyone has something unexpected to offer and the job of acting is to pull it out of each other.

All I want to do is do my shows and play golf.

I don't like to talk about things until I'm on set shooting them because it doesn't feel real.

Dandyism is a variety of genius.