May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.

Because a rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose.

All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that's like women too.

I can't feel bad about being who I am, just like the girl next to me can't feel bad about being who she is. Because a rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose.

We all have bad days, but one thing is true; no cloud is so dark that the sun can't shine through.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

I must have been a koala in my past life.

[Autobiographies] are all the same - it's always rags-to-riches or I-slept-with-so-and-so. Damned if I'm going to say that.

How much longer will you wait until you take a chance on yourself?

An idea is a feat of association and the height of it is a good metaphor.

Prejudices are the props of civilization.

For me, serendipity, coincidence and chance are more interesting than any preconceived construct of our human encounters.

Anyone who thinks that they are too small to make a difference has never tried to fall asleep with a mosquito in the room.

I'm a big root beer guy.

I always feel scared and insecure on a film set. I don't know any other way.

Think small.... If you can't think small, try philosophy or social criticism.

Whether you're an unpublished novelist or a sixteen-time New York Times bestselling author, you can always improve your craft. You can always become a better writer.

I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.