Maybe I fear things going wrong so much that I pre-empt them by not getting excited about them when they appear to be. going well.

I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways.

One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it.

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.

People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.

I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.

I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.

They call it 'surfing' the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom

Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in the other.

Whenever you're in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character.

The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.

When you have fear then the world is a big place. When you have courage then the world shrinks.

Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.

I'm not graceful either. I have no rhythm, I'm never on top.

In liberal societies we don't typically require citizens to rearrange their activities, their lives, the way they go about their business, to make it easy for the police to do their work.

I view filmmaking as a director's medium.

I don't want a gang of shouting, arguing, law-breaking photographers to camp out everywhere we are, all day every day, to continue traumatizing my kids.

There's no point dating a guy who can't support a family.

There is, to be sure, no evil without something good.

Well, my mom taught public school music for almost 40 years. And she's about 5 feet - and very mighty. And she would control her kids a lot by giving them the eye, or the stare.

I had rather be a kitten and cry mew Than one of these same metre ballet-mongers.