Maybe you’re worried that I won’t seduce you?

There’s no way to stand up gracefully when your pants are down around your ankles.

You tell me the dead are coming through a crack in my barn, but I shouldn’t worry?

I missed the good old days when phones were sturdy enough to be pounded for emphasis.

This was going to be worse than the time I table danced in the diner in high school!

Banks frown when employees torch the home of their principal account holder.

This house has enough nooks and crannies for English muffins.

Turns out there’s a reason smoking is not allowed on construction sites.

You pretty much have to take the job since you hit him with the car.

Elvis is in the kitchen and he’s making eggs Benedict!

I’ve worked with freshmen that were easier than this.

الوقت لا يلئم الجراح، بل الحبtime does not heal wounds, love does

If it takes you more time to clean your makeup than to watch a movie… you already have a problem.

Surrender to the unknown and trust that the universe will lead you home.

Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.

I've been driving since I was 19 years old.

Eaten bread is forgotten.

We are an episode between two oblivions.

The narrow mind rejects; wisdom accepts.

*Only if you reject all the other paths can you discover your own path.

I don't think either team can win it.