Medicine is a very old joke, but it still goes on.

We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity - romantic love and gunpowder.

Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold.

The first recipe for happiness is: avoid too lengthy meditation on the past.

We can talk frankly about our defects only to those who recognise our qualities.

An artist must be a reactionary. He has to stand out against the tenor of the age and not go flopping along.

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.

A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crises.

We appreciate frankness from those who like us. Frankness from others is called insolence.

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.

A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.

Everything precious comes out of solitude.

Guys who kiss girls on the forehead are the sweetest and the best gentlemen you can ever have.

Don't try to make me grow up before my time…

If they look as though they're worried, we'll move in.''And do what exactly?' said Polly.'Threaten to shoot them, ' said Maladict firmly.'And if they don't believ

I was a very bad student. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew I didn't want to go farther in school. I hated school and was always the bad one; I was always insulting the teachers.

I don't know that you're ever going to persuade New Zealanders that they're not going to own their own homes and I'm not going to try.

The body of People may with Respect resist intolerable Tyranny.

No person, no idea, and no religion deserves to be illegal to insult, not even the Church of Emacs.

I can't really describe a trick as much as I just feel it.

Everyone thinks my name is Jerry Laitis and they call me Mr Laitis. What can you do when you have a name that sounds like a disease?