Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Perhaps I write for no one. Perhaps for the same person children are writing for when they scrawl their names in the snow.

Create a goal and a purpose to live for, work for, and die for.

You're just the girl of my dreamsBut it seems my dreams never come true

When you can have anything you want by uttering a few words, the goal matters not, only the journey to it.

Mausoleum n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

When Anderson walks into a room, you can hear a rat pissing on cotton.

The heterodoxy of one generation is the orthodoxy of the next.

God sees us with the eyes of a Father. He sees our defects, errors and blemishes. But He also sees our value.

One Way: Jesus! One Job: Evangelism!

The elective franchise, if guarded as the ark of our safety, will peaceably dissipate all combinations to subvert a Constitution, dictated by the wisdom, and resting on the will of the people.