Men always try to make virtues of their weaknesses. Fear of death and fear of life both become piety.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

In the marketplace of ideas, a dime is expensive than the cost price of beauty

Debt is a bottomless sea.

The woman who made those movies, that's not me. She's someone else.

The fundamental imbalance that is behind all of the other social diseases is patriarchy.

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

Only sinners need saviors.

Being alone on the moors is scary; as the rain clouds settle in, it makes you realise your place in nature.

The only male singer who I've seen besides myself and who's better than me--that is Michael Jackson.

No siren did ever so charm the ear of the listener as the listening ear has charmed the soul of the siren.

I do not act, and people become reformed by themselves.