Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

If you want the world to know how truly beautiful you are, love everyone.

A world without books would be a world not worth living in.

The fact that social media has leveled the playing field doesn't offer you the right to disrespect the elderly

Everything and everyone is your teacher unless you are a poor student.

Westerns was why I got into the business. I grew up on a small farm in California and all I ever wanted to do was to play gangsters and cowboys in movies.

Your intentions create your experiences.

The war on terror, rebranded under Obama as the "Overseas Contingency Operation," has morphed into war on democracy.

At the end of a matter ask, "What will I learn from this to make me better?"

Be the best at what you do. Get to know more about your field than anybody alive.

I guess I want to make money just like other people, perhaps more than most people.