Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Religion of the Self [Soul] is that where no difficulty or trouble arises for anyone or any living being of ‘our’ own accord.

What's my age again?

There is only one thing worse than a little baby who won't stop crying: it is a big baby who won't stop whining about it

I'm not a legend or a hero, I don't slay dragons, I don't do any of the things that a real hero can. But I can make things better, one day at a time, for most of the kingdom.

Funny, how moms can tell you what to do no matter how old or big you are.

I grew up in a fun-loving environment - you work hard and play hard.

Form and function are a unity, two sides of one coin. In order to enhance function, appropriate form must exist or be created.

Studying is also important, but we must become humans first.

A monarch must sometimes rule even himself: he who wants everything must risk very little.

Actually, he said Mr. Shawn 'cause he knows better.