Men forget everything women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

The only certainty in life is that it is uncertain.

Problems forges you to be more refined person.

It is time for a new generation of leadership, to cope with new problems and new opportunities. For there is a new world to be won.

Anybody who believes the surge has not succeeded, militarily, politically and in most other ways, frankly, does not know the facts on the ground.

"I am breathing in and liberating my mind. I am breathing out and liberating my mind." One practices like this.

Each image suggests an inner reality, a kind of scar of the past, a reflection of an act or an event once lived.

I hate the human race. Of course, therefore, I hate myself the most, because I am the least of the human race.

Sweetie, in our world, fair’s got nothing to do with anything. He who has the greatest power wins. It’s why we’re all willing to kill each other off without flinching. (Solin)

O, full of scorpions is my mind!

When I taught, all my best students were women.