Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

I will be with her again, or I will die. There aren’t any other options

The sense of your own experience will grow along with your confidence.

As I stood on the lonely backroad, I'm sure I heard birds, kookaburras, laughing ...

I believe the future is only the past again, entered through another gate.

Labor is the law of happiness.

The prosecution wants to make sure the process by which the evidence was obtained is not truthfully presented, because, as often as not, that process will raise questions.

I don't worry about anything but winning races.

An airplane might disappoint any pilot but it'll never surprise a good one.

High among the unpredictable variables that endanger the survival of worthy buildings are the vagaries of taste.

The average attention span of the modern human being is about half as long as whatever youre trying to tell them.